The importance of SMALLTALK

By: Melissa Barlock

Patient Communication - What to say making Smalltalk using FORM

People make small talk for various reasons: to be polite, fill an awkward silence, or to break the ice. Others choose not to make small talk and avoid it when they can, seeing it as boring, pointless, or superficial. While some amount of small talk is basically mandatory as a dental professional, being fluent in small talk is perhaps one of the most valuable skills you can develop as a clinician because it will enable you to better connect with your patients. The truth is, unless something goes awry during the course of treatment, most patients cannot discern the work of one good dental professional to the next. If they have a bad or uncomfortable experience, next time they’ll likely try the next closest clinic until they find one that they like, and stick with it. Patients, like all people, will choose to do business/treatments with others that they know, like, and trust, and that all starts with communication.

We all have some basic ideas (and opinions) about small talk. Because it doesn’t impart any necessary information between users, things that need to be addressed, it has a reputation of being unimportant. Some may even consider it to be a nuisance or insincere. If you think about it, though, the world would be a strange place without it. In linguistics, small talk is called phatic communication (coined by the anthropologist who studied it in 1923, Bronisław Malinowski) to emphasize its social, over its informational, function. While it is arguably less important when you’re out and about, any meaningful relationship you ever had probably started with small talk and worked up to conversation, maybe even culminating in “big talk.” Small talk’s greatest advantage is its ability to initiate a connection between people. In the clinic, what starts out as an act of politeness to patients leads to comfort, liking, and ultimately trust–small talk has big consequences!


While it would be interesting to start conversations off with “What is the meaning of life?” with new patients or acquaintances it’s probably best to stay professional and start with the small talk. Countries and cultures differ slightly in what is considered acceptable small talk, but certain topics are generally safe no matter who you’re talking to. One popular and easy acronym to remember when you can’t think of much to say is FORM:


Family: do you have kids? How many? Are they alike or very different? What ages are they? What are they up to these days? If you both have a daughter, for example, you can reminisce about the times when yours was that young, or jokingly warn the patient what her daughter might be like when she becomes a teenager. Or talk about how much your bond has strengthened since then. If you have something in common it will create an instant connection and you will automatically become friendlier with one another, which will lead to more sharing.


Occupation: what do you do for work? If it’s earlier in the day you can say “Did you have to miss work to be here this morning? Thanks for taking the time to come in!” Alternatively, you can ask if they had to leave work early to get there on time. How about “What do you like and dislike most about your job?” Open-ended questions such as these require more thought and often elicit longer and more interesting answers to lead off of. 


Recreation: What do you do for fun? If it’s the winter you may ask if they ski or if they’d like to. Are they planning on getting away for the winter? If it’s summer will they be heading to the cottage? Do they like to play any sports? If it’s a patient you know you may ask “Are you still running?” or “How’s that ankle of yours?” Another suggestion is to ask their opinion on something, such as if they have any good movie or book recommendations. This can be particularly effective for building mutual respect and trust.  


Motivation: this can include short-term goals to big dreams. If it’s a child you may ask what they’d like to do when they grow up. If they’re a little older you can ask if they plan on going to University or what they’d like to do after they graduate. If they have a job, why did they choose that occupation, or what would they have liked to do? Either way, get people talking about the things they’re passionate about and they’ll usually have plenty to say. It will also give you good insight into their lives and personalities, and show that you care. 


Of course, these aren’t the only categories of things to talk about, but remembering FORM is quick and easy if you’re looking for something to talk about. Most topics are fair game, just be sure to avoid matters that are contentious, personal, intimate, offensive, or negative in any way. This includes things such as politics, religion, finances, sex, and insensitive jokes. If the patient brings up politics, however, feel free to indulge them; the key is to read the situation and the patient to find common ground. Once things get going you’ll be well on your way making a new loyal patient, and friend. 


Enspire Dental Opportunities is looking forward to working with you.



Find Me Great Talent Find Your Career
By Melissa Calway April 12, 2025
In a world of rapid automation, hybrid workplaces, and constant digital communication, technical skills are no longer the only—or even the most important—determinant of professional success. What sets great employees and leaders apart today is emotional intelligence (EI): the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, while also recognizing and influencing the emotions of others. What Is Emotional Intelligence? Emotional Intelligence is often broken down into five key components: Self-awareness – Understanding your emotions and how they impact your actions. Self-regulation – The ability to manage and control your emotional reactions. Motivation – A drive to achieve for the sake of personal fulfillment. Empathy – The ability to understand the emotions of others. Social skills – Managing relationships, building rapport, and navigating social networks. These competencies have proven essential not just for leadership, but for collaboration, conflict resolution, customer service, and navigating change. Why Employers Are Prioritizing EI A 2024 LinkedIn Workplace Learning Report found that 92% of talent professionals and hiring managers believe that soft skills, particularly emotional intelligence, are equally or more important than technical skills. Here’s why EI is a standout skill in today’s workforce: Better teamwork: Employees with high EI collaborate more effectively and foster positive team environments. Improved communication: They are better at expressing their ideas and listening actively. Resilience and adaptability: EI helps people navigate stress, uncertainty, and feedback without becoming defensive or overwhelmed. Leadership potential: High EI is often a predictor of great leadership, regardless of job title. Customer satisfaction: Empathy and social awareness lead to more personalized and positive client experiences. Emotional Intelligence in the Hiring Process Companies are integrating EI assessments into interviews and onboarding. Questions like, "Tell me about a time you had to resolve a conflict," or "How do you handle stress at work?" aim to uncover emotional awareness, empathy, and resilience. Additionally, organizations are investing in training to help employees strengthen their emotional intelligence, recognizing that EI can be developed over time with intention and practice. How to Cultivate Emotional Intelligence If you want to stand out in today’s job market, here are a few ways to boost your emotional intelligence: Practice mindfulness: Pay attention to your reactions and what triggers them. Request feedback: Ask colleagues or mentors how they perceive your interpersonal strengths and weaknesses. Develop active listening: Focus entirely on the speaker, without interrupting or planning your response. Pause before reacting: Take a moment to reflect before you respond in emotionally charged situations. Show empathy: Try to see situations from others' perspectives, especially during disagreements. Final Thoughts Technical know-how may get your foot in the door, but emotional intelligence is what helps you grow, connect, and lead in today’s job market. As the workplace continues to evolve, EI is no longer optional—it’s essential. Whether you’re job hunting, managing a team, or navigating a career transition, developing your emotional intelligence will help you stand out for all the right reasons. Interested in developing your emotional intelligence or training your team? Reach out to learn more about interactive workshops and coaching programs designed to build stronger, more emotionally intelligent workplaces.
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